Giovanna Spantigati

"An imperfect being. "

In 2010, to hear such a definition, referring to a disabled person, cannot but make me think.
History shows that cruelty has always existed, I hope awareness will come. However, the Greeks first, who threw disabled from Mount Taygetos, Hitler then, who ordered to exterminate them, the ever-recurring cycles of human history, shouldn't surprise us.

There are so many people feeling discomfort, fear and even repulsion when they face a disabled person. I think there are two substantial reasons.

The first is the non-knowledge, then ignorance, so that person doesn't know how to deal with disability, and thus he is embarrassed and unease. If you grow up with a person with a disability or if you hang around with him, the difference obviously does not scare you. Usually, In fact, what scares you is what you don't know. The other reason is the fear projection of our anxieties when the reason does not help us to go beyond the fear of the unknown. Hence the unconscious fear of becoming like them, the terror to become in an "imperfect being". It is a sordid fear that highlights our weaknesses, our lack of self-confidence and our feeling imperfect. This defense mechanism makes us keep off a person which we consider being potentially "dangerous" because he is a threaten to our self assurance. Someone who claimed to be a friend of mine once said: "I could never love a disabled person.He is imperfect." He didn't say it in my presence because, you know, courage is a gift of a few, yet he deserves a reply. First of all, my first thought goes to my son and I won't let him see this man anymore. I call him "man", but I'd rather call him Grog. (A British comic book character "BC" - Before Christ - set in the stone age. Grog was a kind of link between ape and man). Emanuele talks to him unaware that he considers him "imperfect", he trusts him and shake hands every time they meet. I don't want to deceive my son and I can't tell him Grog is intelligent; I can't even tell him what Grog had said. Furthermore, I must admit that these 18 years spent with my son have taught me a lot.

I learned that it is not worth answering to stupidity, it's not because of lack of courage - a mother always has it - but simply because it wouldn't change things. What I mean is that everyone on earth has the huge opportunity to grow, to become aware and that living always means to make choices. You choose to become aware and conscious but you also can choose to live suspended in the limbo of ignorance and mediocrity. During your life, when you meet someone who is special, you can choose what to do. You can ignore him or try to understand him to enhance your life, your soul. There is free will, and if you decide not to look beyond, and to miss this opportunity, it will always and only face your own conscience.


Giovanna Spantigati