Giovanna Spantigati

I'm proud, so proud of my life. Laughing and joking with my children, with our complicity, made of simple games, irony, secrets ... Taking care of Emanuele, giving him confidence, teasing ourselves, teaching him to not take himself too seriously and watching his smile, his bright eyes… Sometimes it is just a second, the quick instant of meeting of minds...
We are a team, and a team is union, a natural and basic need of the instinct. It is also the support and preservation of species.

There is strength in numbers and we are the three musketeers: Athos, Porthos and Aramis. Athos, "a noble figure, pale gentleman," as delicate as Emanuele, Aramis "grace and sweetness," as his beautiful and determined little sister ... Porthos "strength and energy," here I am. We are sitting by the pool coffee bar making jokes... Emanuele making fun of me, we all communicating in LIS (Italian Sign Language), so no one can understand ... How can I explain…
We laugh free from thoughts, with complicity... feeling great, unique. And we notice that the people around us are smiling.
This is not compassion, this is empathy. We are really happy and our union is sacred.

In that quick instant, you feel in tune with the serenity and appreciate the fact that life is wonderful, and that it is a gift in your hands. Then the instant fades ..back to normal life. "Before" and "After" are mixed up. Time and space no longer exist. There's nothing left of that magic dust. Impatience, frustration, dissatisfaction, "Stop it, Emanuele, leave me alone!" But that's normal, it is healthy. The happiest moments of your life are wrapped in a magic, silent dance and as in a fairy tale you are surrounded by shining stars. Yet, a few days ago I wanted to scream my pain… scream it in a middle of an unconscious crowd… weird fate .. my whole tough life .. A liberating scream, that of an injured lion which raises its head shaking from pain and fear and screaming .. "NO!" with all its strength, a scream that splits his bowels. And as the air spreading in the world, the cry is dissolved, and pain ceases to be ..

But wait; I didn't cry watching my son unable to plunge alone into the lake, or walk on the stones, or reach his sister playing in the water, or playing soccer on the sand with other children, or playing beach-volleyball, or just going to take an ice cream. I did not yell out. I only said "What if one day I went crazy?" But I know that, until you say it, this will not happen. And so what else is going to happen to me? I know that this too shall be over. Pain alternates with joy, in a swing pushed by the wind of fate. I hope with trust. And here it is: a smiling, benevolent wind pushes the swing upwards, to taste the fragrance of joy.

Giovanna Spantigati