Giovanna Spantigati

How many times, in the presence of my disabled child, I had to take a stand, to react, to defend him even raising my voice ... how many situations where I could not help challenging what was happening without being able to hide it from him ... Getting to school and not finding his support teachers and no one being informed, not knowing what to do ...
"We'll keep him with us" said the caretakers, "He'll stay with me in my office," says the vice-principal. Like a potatoes bag.

But how can he feel, being perfectly aware of himself? Nobody wants to think about it. Troublesome thought. Unnecessary for others. Fundamental to me because it means respect.
If I quarrel in front of him, it's bad because he feels my anger and frustration. But if I submit it can be even worse. It means teaching him to give up.
How can he feel, sitting on a chair, watching everybody puzzled, knowing that he cannot relate to others autonomously, understanding that they forgot him? Don't you think that a person in distress (or someone who is close to him) would end up by getting angry with the world?

Often disabled people are angry, aggressive, but who can blame them for that? They make many efforts to conquer dignity. Sometimes with aggressive reactions, sometimes shouting. My father taught me: "Those who have more common sense should use it" but it does not mean you cannot defend your rights. It does not mean to teach a disabled person to accept injustices.
I can get angry and let him see my anger and let it be his. "How comes, he may think, that they want me to respect teachers when they treat me like that?" That's what he gets.

But we cannot and must not put a person under a bell jar. After discussing, you can have your smile back, together with your hope in future, tolerance for others' mistakes and respect. But don't let fiction or submission be there. Reality can be very beautiful, more beautiful than a dream. You only have to face it.

Giovanna Spantigati